Lonely Hearts
by Gtimes3
Summary: ‘Attractive, young 23 brunette seeks attractive partner for friendship and more, loves fun, love music, and loves books. Has a strange aversion to fashion and make up. Is an out of the closet and round the corner romantic.....'


I do intend to finish my other stories; unfortunatly I have to type up everything I've written for them; which will take ages. Stupid computers. Breaking. Gr.

Enjoy this one though

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm just bored.

Prologue: Add from hell

'_Attractive, young(23) brunette seeks attractive partner for friendship and more, loves fun, love music, and loves books. Has a strange aversion to fashion and make up. Is an out of the closet and round the corner romantic; and has two single best friends. Seeks an outgoing member of the male sex to bring her out of her shell; preferably one who lives in Forks or the surrounding area, with two attractive single mates. For details, contact Isabella Swan on the following number…'_

My hands shook as I gently lowered the paper; attempting to put it back onto the table without making a Bella's-hand-shaped hole in the piece of furniture.

"Rosalie?" I called softly, "Alice?"

I heard the clatter of heels on the wooden hall floor, and in a moment a small pixie-like woman danced through the door, twirling over to me, before leaping up and perching herself on the table; which brought her short black hair to my eye level. She was soon followed by another woman; whose heels had brought about the clatters. Only Rosalie would wear stilettos indoors willingly. She gracefully crossed the room in two and a half steps and plonked her perfectly sculpted buttocks into the chair Alice's feet were hanging next to.

"You called?" Alice spoke brightly, swinging her little legs. They came dangerously close to chafing Rosalie's tan knees; which were fully exposed due to the almost ungodly length of her skirt.

I picked up the paper again, and pointed to the add in question.

"I would appreciate it if you would explain this", I told them, jabbing at my name and phone number with one of the nails Alice had spent an hour or so carefully cutting, filing, and painting earlier on that day.

The little pixie giggled nervously, exchanging a short glance with Rosalie, which told me what I already knew, and all I needed to know. _They did it._

Alice opened her little gloss covered mouth to speak when Rosalie interrupted her.

"That Bella", she started, loudly and proudly, as per usual Rosalie, "is a lonely hearts add. More to the point; it's _your _lonely hearts add. Me and Alice felt it would be beneficial for you to go out there and get some for once."

I'm sure my eyes were as wide as saucers by the time she had finished her little explanation.

"And what brought you to the conclusion that I need or want to, as you so eloquently put it, '_get some?'_", I retorted. Livid. I loved Rosalie and Alice, and yes, I was single, and had been since shortly after high school, however, at this moment, I was insulted that these were the lengths they felt I needed to take in order to form a relationship. A _lonely hearts advert, _the lowest of the low.

"Oh _Bella!_" Alice started, aspirated, waving her arms up in the air in an obvious gesture. "We just feel that it'd be nice for you to join us on dates sometimes; get some _loving, _have more fun! Honestly Bella! You can't be single forever!"

I sighed, pursing my lips, and putting the paper back down, before making myself a coffee; and trying to ignore the beautiful women, formally known as my friends, whose eyes were boring into my back; and whose minds were probably trying to telepathically tell me how 'good' an idea this was.

I inhaled the coffee I made, sighing louder; partly because the coffee was just that good, and partly because I realised that I had been utterly defeated. The add was already published; no going back now.

As if she had red my mind, Alice jumped up from the table and wrapped her short arms around me.

"I _knew _you'd think it was a great idea!"

Maybe she _hadn't _read my mind.

This was the worse idea I had ever heard.

"What's done is done Alice; however, you will _not _be thinking up any more schemes to get me dating in the future; not for a long time." The little pixie's face fell, but then she smiled brightly.

"You know what this means Bella?" she questioned me, smile still in place. I mentally groaned; living with the pixie for several years gave me a pretty good incite as to what was coming. I did the only thing I could, and attempted to postpone the inevitable.

"What does this mean, Alice?" I asked sweetly; as if I was so naïve. I could see Rosalie smirking slightly in the background. She knew exactly what was coming too; the only difference being that she was probably in on it from the start.

"You're going to have lots of lovely dates!" The pixie started the slow road to telling me exactly what she wanted…

However, she had given me a loophole; and I would take any hole to get out of the torture she was about to bring down on me.

"You never know Alice; I might have no dates at all; maybe they won't like the sound of me and - "

Alice growled, cutting me off. I had successfully stopped her. '_Yes!' _I mentally cheered.

"You _will _be getting dates Isabella Marie Swan!" she'd reverted to using my full name. I was in trouble now. "You are beautiful and fun and interesting and everything a guy could want! Plus! You have me and Rose to help you. Besides, who could ignore our amazing advert?" She put her hands on her hips and stared straight at me.

"You know what that means?" Rosalie imputed from behind Alice; knowing my game. I almost groaned, whilst Alice's smile returned.

"What does that mean?" I sighed, giving in.

"Shopping!" the pixie shrieked; clapping her hands together excitedly. She pulled the half empty mug from my hand and plunked it down on the table, before talking my hand and pulling me down the hall towards my room.

After shoving me into my en suite, and telling me firmly to shower, and then change into the clothes she laid out. She finally left me in piece, to morn the loss of my coffee; and dread the days to come.

This would be one hell of a month.


End file.
